Mother-in-law asks to borrow 28-year-old daughter-in-law's wedding dress for her vow renewal, doesn't understand why she refuses: 'She said I was wasting a perfectly good dress'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 1, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

They say that your wedding dress is the most important dress you'll ever wear in your life. And this is probably true. Most of us don't get to go to the Oscars or the Met Gala. If you're the dress-wearing type, and you're getting married, you're probably pretty invested in your wedding dress. Maybe you've dreamed about what it would look like since you were a kid. Maybe you spent years saving up money so you could get a really nice, expensive one. Maybe you've had dreams about passing it down to your kids so that they can wear it when they get married. You get it custom fit just for you, and you spend a lot of time trying to find the perfect one. 

Odds are you're probably going to be pretty protective of that dress. Maybe you put it in storage to preserve it. Maybe you don't even let anyone touch it, let alone wear it. This would be your right to do. It's your property after all, and a special one at that. You probably especially don't want anyone else to wear it to their events. 

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  • Someone zips up the back of a wedding dress.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Particularly somebody that you're not that close to, and even more particularly someone who wants to wear it to a wedding-related event. It's your address and you get to decide what to do with it. But one bride was asked to share her dress with an unexpected family member. And when she said no, she caused a rift in her new family. Read on to see what happened in this story.

  • AITA for not letting my MIL "borrow" my wedding dress for her vow renewal?

    1 (28F) got married last year. My MIL (55F) is planning a vow renewal with my FIL for their 30th anniversary. She asked if she could borrow my actual wedding dress because she "doesn't see the point in buying another one." I told her no, that it's sentimental, and I want to keep it for myself or maybe even pass it down someday.
    via u/Wide-Paramedic3245
  • She called me "selfish" and said I was wasting a perfectly good dress. My husband is stuck in the middle and says it's "just a dress" but agreed MIL is being pushy. Now she's rallying extended family, and I've been accused of "ruining her special day." AITA for saying no?
    via u/Wide-Paramedic3245

  • Commenters agreed that this was outrageous.

    • R de-Royal-5043 · 1d ago If it's just a dress then your husband can go out and buy his mother a dress. That dress however is your dress! No one is entitled to your belongings. She asked a question and received an answer no explanation necessary. No, is a complete sentence.
    via u/R*de-Royal-5043
  • karnicbel 1d ago • so NTA. She can buy her own dress. Thats actually really weird.
    via u/karnicbel
  • Trex_Arms_26 · 1d ago . "If someone gets mad at your answer, then it wasn't a request." It is selfish of your MIL to feel entitled to a "yes" from you.
    via u/Trex_Arms_26
  • ThrowRAevicousins 1d ago • Your husband isn't in the middle he took his mom's side because when she went to the family he's not sticking up for you. But you shouldn't go to the renewal and say she won that she turned the family against you over "just a dress" you need to flip the situation and make her the actual villain. She's making you look like the villain when all you have to do is not play the game
    via u/ThrowRAevicousins
  • • HalfAgony-HalfHope 1d ago It's not just a dress, its a wedding dress. They're special, its why people preserve them for literal generations and pass them down to their children. Definitely NTA.
    via u/HalfAgony-HalfHope
  • • Expensive Sense7991 · 1d ago Sorry, but there's no reason for 55-year-old woman to wear a white dress at a vow renewal and let me just add vow renewals are ridiculously annoying!! Also, your husband is not stuck in the middle. He's choosing to be stuck in the middle.
    via u/Expensive_Sense7991
  • the_UNABASHEDVOice 1d ago • No. She can find another dress that looks like it or is close. What the h_l?
    via u/the_UNABASHEDVOice
  • Extreme_Sector_6689 · 1d ago Nta No, he's not stuck in the middle. He needs to make you the priority because you know....you're his wife?!?! You have a husband and MIL problem
    via u/Extreme_Sector_6689
  • A woman in a wedding dress stands by the window.
    via Chad Populis

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Technical-Avocado941 · 1d ago She can go kick rocks. Tell your husband to grow a set or get lost too. She is a cheapskate and trying to shame you over your personal heirlooms. Is she mentally ill?
    via u/Technical-Avocado941
  • Let her rally. Anyone who takes her side. Cut them out of your life forever. Warn your husband. This is unacceptable behaviour from MIL. Good luck hun. Don't give her one inch.
    via u/Technical-Avocado941
  • indi50 1d ago . Ewwww....creepy AF. She wants to wear the dress you wore to marry her son to renew the vows to her husband. Kinda sounds like she wants to feel like she's marrying her son. Maybe put that idea out there. If it wasn't in her head (or your husband's) it will be now and hopefully that will get her to shut up.
    via u/indi50
  • Also, I don't know what style dress you wore, but I've never seen a vow renewal outfit that was meant to match a new bride's. Not saying it doesn't happen, it just doesn't seem like the usual thing. Even if she isn't looking to remake her son's wedding with her as the bride.
    via u/indi50
  • eta: it's possible she wants to show off that she wears the same size as you. "Oh isn't that dress pretty." "Yes, it's my DIL and it fits perfectly and I'm 30 years older, aren't I amazing." Still creepy that she'd want to use you and your dress like that. I can't think of any uncreepy reason why she'd want to wear your dress.
    via u/indi50
  • RNH213PDX 1d ago • NTA of course you aren't. - But, I am concerned for you! You are going to have a tough road ahead of you if your husband doesn't grow a pair and stand up to his mommy. Assuming you want to have children, this complete lack of respect for
    via u/RNH213PDX
  • boundaries is going to be a serious problem because she will not respect your authority and priority as a mother. I really feel for you, because this will only get worse unless your husband stops being a Sad Sad Little Boy and stand up for his wife.
    via u/RNH213PDX
  • Patien... 1d ago Edited 22h ago . • I would put your wedding dress where your spouse and his mom can't find it. Why because he will give it to her. Forgot to add NTA.
    via u/Patient_Gas_5245
  • • Least_Dentist441 · 1d ago What happened to her wedding dress when she first married the FIL?
    via u/Least_Dentist441
  • • Safe_Requirement7879 · 1d ago Just a dress that most likely cost thousands of dollars.
    via u/Safe_Requirement7879
  • Adventurous-Term5062 · 1d ago NTA. Does your husband really think what you wore to spend the rest of your life with him is just a dress??? - And if it is "just a dress" then she can go to Marshalls and but "just a dress" to wear. This is super creepy that she wants to wear your dress.
    via u/Adventurous-Term5062
  • Motor_Dark6406 · 1d ago Your husband is cool with his mom wearing the same dress as his wife? ick. Tell them its getting preserved and sealed. end of discussion.
    via u/Motor_Dark6406
  • rudidude_0712 · 1d ago • I wasn't especially sentimental about my wedding dress, but YUCK! That is super weird. I would not want my MIL or even my mother wearing my wedding dress. I'd rather give it to a stranger. Does she think she will look better in it? Have some class and wear something more suitable for a vow renewal.
    via u/rudidude_0712
  • maiseybaby · 1d ago . Why the h I would your husband want to see his mom wearing the wedding dress he most likely took off of you on your wedding night
    via u/maiseybaby
  • RuntheJules86 · 1d ago • It's like, hey I need to wear a nice ring to this event, can I borrow your wedding ring? Like what? No. No you can't, and they are all weirdos for gaslighting you into even considering being in the wrong here. Now if the dress was needed to save someone's life, sure, it's just a dress. Other than that, wow....respect your boundaries or kick rocks.
    via u/RuntheJules86
  • WittyFeature6179 · 1d ago Freud would be having a field day with some of these MIL posts. If it's "ruining her special day" then you know it's not about paying for a new dress. NTA
    via u/WittyFeature6179
  • canonrobin • 1d ago . Also vow renewals don't require a white wedding dress. She should buy herself something nice to wear on the day and can use it afterwards.
    via u/canonrobin

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Wedding Themes family drama bride marriage wedding party mean wedding in laws mother in law story brides wedding cake family vow renewal reddit thread Reddit weddings Maid Of Honor
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